ccrawley10

I am quite happy at the moment. I am looking forward to my bday on Saturday. I know that my husband has already started to plan something--yeah!! I am ordering new shoes, which should make anyone happy. I am reading books and online, which makes me happy. And I am excited about learning to cook. Already looking forward to cooking.

Still have not done taxes yet.

Going to see Ironman tomorrow after Sushi. :)

Dogs asleep and snoring.

Ok. I have been away from my computer for days and weeks it seems. The addiction to the internet seems to have lessened, however, if not the internet then something else. Such as my compulsion to purchase books and coffee.

I had a wonderful trip to Vegas with friends. And look forward to Marie's wedding in May--about time some guy pinned her down.

Unfortunately, on night arrived back in Austin, my husband told me about our friends' baby dying. Truly, one of the worst things to happen in long time.

I am working part time and putting off finishing school.

My dogs are good.

My sunburn is healing.

Overall, I feel good with my life at the moment. Although, Jason will be gone for the summer and being alone will be not so nice. Hopefully, I will not curl into my self and be totally anti-social.

Peace out.

My objective today is to finish my 2006 taxes.

I hate going to school for the reason that it is the worst red tape.

How hard is it to read an email? Very hard--better to cheat people of money.

The only school that I have attended that was worth a damn was the expensive private school. Cost versus time and dealing with red tape, I recommend that you spend the money as you cannot price your time and the pain of dealing with red tape.

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English 20% Dixie 10% Upper Midwestern 5% Yankee 0% Midwestern

So far, still a live and kicking.

Okay, I have been off line for several months now. Have avoided checking email, etc. Managed to register for one class for the spring semester.

Yeah, Jason made it to the next day.

He started with 10k and finished with 20775.

He next plays on Thursday.

Already cannot wait for him to get back.

Luckily, the dogs are not driving me crazy.

We have a charming and soon to be very spoiled juvenile chocolate lab named zoe. For whatever reason, she really likes me. Who would have guessed it. The other two are taking it really well at having another one in the house. However, she knows how to get on the counters to get cookies and for whatever reason she chewed the banister on the stairs.

I personally am still looking for her a good home. I do not want to deal with adult dogs yet alone a juvenile or puppy. Time, money, nerves all go to hell because of dogs.

On personal note, missed two weeks of

It's been about five weeks, since my granny pasted. She had no cancer in Nov, however, by March, it was very aggressive. When I saw her in May, it had been a while since she could even swallow. It took her so long to starve. In May, she was delirious from dehydration. I could only wish her more meds--I never thought that they gave her enough.

I miss her so. But feel guilty for wishing her peace.

I wonder what I could have done to have been a better person for her.

Here are some of the fotos from over the years:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cpohl10/

I have been up reading for while. I woke up and have not yet been able to go back to sleep. Really, need to get a new night guard to alleviate some of the grinding of my teeth on my jaw joint. The dogs are asleep, Jason is finally asleep after going to bed at 5am with an appointment at 10am.

Although, he has forgiven me for scheduling his dentist appointment and that it was in the morning.

I have gotten one grade, but still waiting on the other. I so screwed up on registering for the fall and will have to wait for August. Hell, I still need to fill out the internship paper work and such. I cannot forget that is due by August 3rd.

I wanted to visit my grandmother, but do not feel strong enough to handle visiting her. She knows that I love her and that is the main thing. I wish that she would just end it and be done with it. I never want to watch someone slowly die away ever again. Her not breathing was hard to live with, but her not being able to eat and requiring a feeding tube is heart wrenching. The wasting away looks so painful, because she express her want of food. She can only intake liquids right now.

It might rain today or be a sunny hot day.

I really need to get my stuff together.

Poor Marie has the person, who is the only grandmother she has ever known, practically going through the same thing. Monica is not her grandmother, but her father's first wife. But she has always been very close to the girls.

I have continued to be so antisocial, that I have yet to call Kristin, Marie or Courtney to visit. I occasionally email, but even that is lacking.

The really scaring things going on right now are me cleaning the house(I always try and avoid this at all cost--miss having a maid) and going back to work full time since the semester is over. Although, I am working on special project at work, it will require more work and thought. I still need to finish the internship stuff and soon.

I have decided the design for the front yard. Now, I only have to implement the design.

Peace out, I am going to take a nap. Everyone else's snoring is making me jealous.

I feel so bad, that I have not done as much as I should have in my short life. I look at my grandmother and all that she has done and did until this last stay in the hospital.

The semester looked pretty good, until my exams on tuesday and thursday. I feel like I bombed them.

I am feeling anxious about the fall semester. Agh!

What to do to make be a better person? Who can I help, that is outside myself?

I realize that I consider a less than 350 page book as a short story. My non-existant book budget is outragous. I can read one to two books per day. Hm, I need to look at other hobbies.

I am thinking about painting color on the walls. It has only taken me over 2.5 yrs to consider, that the walls cannot remain beige and me be happy. Although, Jason and I have decide not yellow in the bedroom nor any pink. I am thinking blue.

Does anyone else eat a poptart with a fork?

This is just the raving of a sleep deprive, depraved individual.

Love you Granny!!

To Due List:

I finished my last cis assignment and turned it in.

I need to review the cis project by saturday's due date.

I need to review slides for the cis exam on thursday.

I need to finish my phil extra credit as well as the take home paper.

I need reread the religious and political as well as fallacies for the test on tuesday.

I will register for the fall tomorrow.

I will attend the orientation to finish my undergraduate crap in the fall.

After thursday, I am finished for the spring semester.

I am taking off the summer.

I need to plot something--evil laugh echoes thru the home library scaring the dogs and little kids in the neighborhood. Just kidding. Peace out.

Okay, I moved my desk to a window. I even opened the blinds to let in light and be able to look down on the grass and street. This is a nice change. My desk before was kinda in a corner and next to my messy hubby's desk. Still need a gate for my door, so that I can keep it open, but I love, absolutely love my new spot. I have taken over the library, it is now my office. Yeah!!

If only I could get someone big and strong to move the hutch and printer as well, it would be perfect.

Hm, do I sound well medicated. One would hope so.

I am procrastinating on my cis project, it's due on the 19 and it's not yet finished.

Of course, rereading McCaffrey's Dragonriders of Pern series does not really assist either.

I love that I had all my existing negatives put on disk. If only, I had done that with the old movies of my grandparents as well.

Talked to mom today, granny is indeed well medicated, which is all I want for her. For her to be comfortable. She is no longer able to eat solid food--really she is hardly able to eat baby food. As the cancer rapidly grows it will close off her ability to eat. At her age, she is not able physically for the surgery or any other treatments for this rapidly growing cancer.

In addition, my mom told me that my aunt was there as well. She was in Egypt and borrowed some money to come back. On the way to KC, she got sick. Only my cousin had to file a police report to find her, she got sick and was in the ICU in Virginia after landing in DC.

I wanted to go to Toronto this summer, but really broke so not going to happen.

We went to eat the other night at Kerby Lane's and there were the awesome pixs on the walls. I really liked the work. Looked him up online, he is an illustrator for books. Too cool. Maybe for Xmas, if I am good or bad. :)

March 2007 has been the worst March, that I can remember in years.

One reason is that my uncle died.

Another is my grandma was in the hospital from just before Feb 14 to March 25. She is now in nursing home. We found out that she has a very fast growing cancer. It has grown in the last five months. Soon, she will no longer be able to eat and that's it folks. She has not been in good health for many years, but this was the final kicker. It is in the same place as my uncle's was.

Yet another reason is that my Aunt is finally out of Egypt, however, she only made it into Washington, DC, not home to Kansas City. Our family had to file a police report to find her. She is in a hospital ICU in Virginia. Nobody yet knows more than that. We all knew that she was having a nervous breakdown. We are hoping soon that we can get her home and then commit her. It was hard with her being out of the country and having a nervous breakdown. At least, my cousin is going to get his mom, when she is able to leave the hospital.

Ironically, Auntie and Grannie do not know the extent of each others illnesses. Nobody is telling either of them about the other.

And mom told me earlier that she will be having surgery this summer to stop the calcium leaching going on with her. Something about the hyperthyroid?

I really hope that my Aunt gets better. I may not always agree with her or like her, but would hate to have her die.

Okay, I finally managed to pull all the weeds in the front yard, but now I am starting on the backyard. The backyard is about three times the size of the front yard. I wish that I had more flower beds and less grass areas. Although, many parts of the grass in the back, look to have died off. Agh.

My yard is not how I would ideally like it to be. I am really going to have to get off my butt and work on it. My husband and I have decided this year to cut the grass ourselves. I am waiting to see how long until I have to call the yard service people.

I managed to catch a dialog at school today. Was very interesting. Still have to finish a paper on this.

After I managed to get home, and feel asleep until 446am. Man, was I tired.

As of now, I'm watching American Gigolo w/Jason.

Cruelty seems to be us humans favorite past time. Why do people not take the hint and stop? Why do they intentionally keep going with their hurtful ways? Why do we continue to be around these people?

Why do I keep putting off calling my granny in the hospital?

I am overall anti-social and believe that to be a good thing. People are annoying me to no end. Most people bore me to death. Short number of topics to discuss. I detest the same old dibble.

With my feelings this morning, one would think that I am hung over.

Okay, I finally called today after yesterday promising my mom to call my granny. We talked for while--mostly about politics. Everyone hopes she will get better, but I know if she goes, that she has had a good life and will be at peace. But on the other hand, I would like for her to see me finally graduate from college and to vote in the next presidential election. As I have been telling my mom for awhile now, we need to plan upcoming events, so granny will make an effort to keep going until after the event(s).

I am going to try and call her tomorrow. I figure that during the day or late at night, would be the lonelist times for her at the hospital.

Finally, I checked my cell voicemail and found out that my grandma's lung collapsed again. They glued her lung back, but now she has an infection. I need to call and get her number or just call the hospital.

Mom and I were talking about how she needs a whole new body. Between not breathing and her esophagus, her body is shot. Can't eat nor breath--kind of sucks.

Probably her years of smoking did not help either.